Fortunately I don’t have to itemise my life here- Dear reader, today I ate toast.

LOVE BITE: MAN FALLS IN LOVE WITH PET SHARK

I try and stick to whatever pops into my head at the last moment- does that show?

WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO MONKEY- CLONING EXPERIMENT LAUDED

I have been trying to think of ways of attracting more readers.

GERMAN MAN ARRESTED IN KNICKERBOCKER CRIME

I used to have many more people who popped in every day.

FACT: THE SKY IS FALLING- LITTLE CHICKEN VINDICATED

But they seem to have all packed in blogging- I did too, for a while.

BLANCMANGE INCIDENT CAUSES BLUSHING

So the only way I can let people know I’m back is to visit blogs.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF YOUR POO IS GREEN?

That’s the best way of increasing traffic, I guess.

CANNIBAL ARRESTED FOR BITING FINGERNAILS

Rather than resorting to cheap tactics.

LUCKY BLACK CAT SITS ON WET PAINT, SUES FOR LOSS OF INCOME

Like sticking random phrases up here, which may or may not be googled.

DO FROGS HAVE TEETH?

So, if you’d like me to visit your website, gimme a shout, and I’ll pop around, provided it isn’t a portal to NASTY P*RN, or an attempt to clean out my bank account.