In case I suddenly vanish, here are the Secrets you’ve been searching for…

(Today I was trying to connect the speakers to our PC so that I could listen to a song my friend Lyly was thoughtful enough to mail me. For some reason our computer, the Alzheimer 5000 (The one with the diminishing memory) wouldn’t start again. I tried endlessly to get it started. I took the cover off and tapped helplessly at dusty wires, but not being technically minded, that didn’t help. Finally, I replaced the cover, sat in shock. Could this be the last straw? Could I take another disappointment? I was nearly in tears, as I absent-mindedly tried the ‘on’ switch again. It worked….)

So. If I do a David Blaine, and you don’t hear from me, I have (a) been stolen, (b) need a new hard drive or (c) been committed for hitting inanimate objects.

We relaxed in front of the TV.  There was a riveting (me), or boring (Neen) documentary on Bears of the World on. I had cooked, ok, made some noodles for James and Hannah- although as a grab at cuisine I opened a can of mussels, and garnished their plates with them. Usually they love them. Tonight, they ate around them, until I asked, ‘James, do you like your mussels?’ He looked at me, and then did that universal bicep flex. Twit.

Later on, he and Hannah had a food fight, which was only slightly less entertaining than young male bears marking their territory, and mussels ended up everywhere. I was too tired to intervene, and it was with some despondence that I picked up the stray shellfish from the carpet. In fact, they bickered endlessly today. Sigh. Tomorrow is a public holiday in South Africa, so we aim to go to the beach first thing in the morning. Today in church we prayed for rain to end the drought, and…. By evening it was already raining. Not bad, eh?

Course it may scupper the beach thing, in which case we will make Lego thingies until our hands bleed.

So, Lyly, even if our e-mail hadn’t eaten your attachment as some potential threat (nearly as paranoid as me), I wouldn’t be able to listen to the song. I’m too afraid to do anything to the computer other than whisper in soothing tones, so I’ll just have to torture the family by playing the guitar. Neen nearly choked the other night when I, as a joke, sang the line “I’m not the world’s most physical guy” from ‘Lola’.

Sometimes you don’t appreciate things till they’re gone. Like cds…and hair.

Oh yes, those secrets. My waist size is 32, I once killed a frog, and I never want to be a wax effigy at Madame Tussauds.