On tenterhooks: Those of you who have walked this lonely road longer than four months. Way back then I mentioned the possibility of our traveling as family to the States for a vacation. Sorry I kept you awake at night, wondering, wondering…
Neen is going there in April, leaving Africa with all its hustle and dust, and going to a small American village called Washington DC. She has been sent on business to an archiving/digitization conference, and the boss of some little village library, the ‘Smithsonian’ (nice cute provincial name) is going to schlep her around.
I will remain, to protect the children from 1st world temptations, and we will likely feast daily on all the flavour varieties of instant noodles.
We were preparing for her trip in all sorts of ways. I brought home a book called ‘Speak American’, a Survival Guide to the Language and Culture of the U.S.A. several useful words and terms are explained.
For instance, in South Africa, if you ask someone to ‘Zap your weenie’, you will likely meet with violence of the crudest sort, but the book leads me to believe that in the States, it means nothing more pedestrian than to microwave a hotdog.
In so many books and movies over the years, I have heard references to the (apparently) edible ‘grits’. As Neen will also be going to Atlanta, we figured a Southern education may come in handy. Finally, I discover that grits aren’t made of meat, but are some kind of nasty corn dish eaten at breakfast. I prefer toast. For you Americans, that is a slice of bread grilled in a specially designed machine, the TOASTer, smeared with marge, and pretty much whatever else happens to be lying around.
I am going to take some time off to be an acronym. I will be a temporary stay at home dad, or TSAHD (pronounced as if you hit in the solar plexus with a fishing rod)
While Neen stays at a 5* hotel in DC, I will continue the character-building work of removing various bodily fluids from the walls, and trying not to cry in front of the children. I know the US is a teeny place, so if any of you would like to glimpse Mrs Anon as she passes through, you are welcome to wave a small banner at the airport.
I would love to have traveled with her, and stalked some of you, but my balaclava is being dry-cleaned. Next time I shall look you up (although only if invited!)
Posted at 08:39 pm by SGDBlog
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scott
March 6, 2005 08:47 PM PST
Ok, so she will cross grits off the things to do list. Thank you for the help, US friends... |
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Sheryl
March 6, 2005 03:18 PM PST
I must also warn Neen to stay away from grits unless they are sufficiently drowned in another substance, like cheese, or sugar and butter, and what is the point of eating something so dreadful you must diguise the taste?
If she's looking for a place to dine in DC check out the blog DCFoodies.com. It has excellent recommendations |
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brandy101
March 6, 2005 08:04 AM PST
uh, no one in MY U.S. (and I was born here!) calls a hot dog a "weenie" - not sice the 1950's, at least!
Personally I can't comprehend an international flight with little kids - maybe when they are a little older you guys can make a go of it and have a swell international adventure here in the US or elsewhere...and if/when ya' do, you're certainly invited for a bbq (barbeque - or as you call it - brai (sp?) )
Good luck playing house-papa! |
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kath mccall
March 6, 2005 01:36 AM PST
We don't zap things much, although it would be understood; we nuke them. But please don't let Neen request that her weenie be zapped OR nuked. Unsafe here, too! Also, if she wants her toast smeared with marge, she best check the waitress's name tag first; we don't eat "marge". DC is, as you know, primitive, and by the way, we ALL carry guns. I live in California - tell her that will be me waving, I'll be wearing a red shirt. |
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scott
March 5, 2005 06:16 AM PST
Lou: Just as we suspected...
Anybody actually like grits?
Or chitlins? |
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Lou
March 5, 2005 12:35 AM PST
grits are nasty. and also a very southern thing.
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